His Sentence:
His parents, on the other hand, gulped their food like starved wolves, eager to be on their way to Reno.
from Zach's Lie by Roland Smith.
Smith uses the simile in this sentence to compare how hungry the boy's parents were and to show how much they were in a hurry to leave.
My Sentence:
My friends, unlike me, sprinted the race like a herd of hunted gazelle, trying to aim their way to victory.
Showing posts with label sentenceaday. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sentenceaday. Show all posts
Monday, October 12, 2009
Sentence 11
His Sentence:
They continued down Idaho Street, passing through downtown Elko, which had more pickup trucks parked along the curb than cars and more cowboy boots on people's feet than shoes.
from Zach's Lie by Roland Smith.
The author uses comparisons to better describe the setting of the story.
My Sentence:
We drove down Manhattan Street, through uptown New York City, which had more cats walking on the streets than dogs and more trash in the park than grass.
They continued down Idaho Street, passing through downtown Elko, which had more pickup trucks parked along the curb than cars and more cowboy boots on people's feet than shoes.
from Zach's Lie by Roland Smith.
The author uses comparisons to better describe the setting of the story.
My Sentence:
We drove down Manhattan Street, through uptown New York City, which had more cats walking on the streets than dogs and more trash in the park than grass.
Sentence 10
His Sentence:
He lad Patricia down a hallway to a metal door with a uniformed guard sitting in front of it.
from Zach's Lie by Roland Smith.
The use of imagery by using many prepositional phrases gives the reader a sense of surrounding in the story.
My Sentence:
I shoved Johnny through a window to the hard ground beside a large dog waiting underneath it.
He lad Patricia down a hallway to a metal door with a uniformed guard sitting in front of it.
from Zach's Lie by Roland Smith.
The use of imagery by using many prepositional phrases gives the reader a sense of surrounding in the story.
My Sentence:
I shoved Johnny through a window to the hard ground beside a large dog waiting underneath it.
Sentence 9
His Sentence:
But seeing his mother like this was worse.
from Zach's Lie by Roland Smith.
The use of a fragment by the author helps to show how upset the character is feeling.
My Sentence:
And eating her food like this was better.
But seeing his mother like this was worse.
from Zach's Lie by Roland Smith.
The use of a fragment by the author helps to show how upset the character is feeling.
My Sentence:
And eating her food like this was better.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Sentence 8
His Sentence:
Jack felt a mixture of terror, anger, and shame at his helplessness.
from Zach's Lie by Roland Smith.
Smith uses the series of emotions in this sentence to better convey how the character felt about his current situation.
My Sentence:
I felt relieved, queasy, and despondent the night of graduation.
Jack felt a mixture of terror, anger, and shame at his helplessness.
from Zach's Lie by Roland Smith.
Smith uses the series of emotions in this sentence to better convey how the character felt about his current situation.
My Sentence:
I felt relieved, queasy, and despondent the night of graduation.
Sentence 7
His Sentence:
Her, lying in the dark, on the ground, in the basement, waiting for her father to come and help.
from feed by M.T. Anderson
Anderson uses this sentence to describe in better detail where his character's location is by beginning the sentence with a subject then adding multiple prepositional phrases then completing the sentence after them.
My Sentence:
Him, sitting in the daylight, on a bench, in Central Park, eating a hot dog on a cold winter day.
Her, lying in the dark, on the ground, in the basement, waiting for her father to come and help.
from feed by M.T. Anderson
Anderson uses this sentence to describe in better detail where his character's location is by beginning the sentence with a subject then adding multiple prepositional phrases then completing the sentence after them.
My Sentence:
Him, sitting in the daylight, on a bench, in Central Park, eating a hot dog on a cold winter day.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Sentence 6
His Sentence:
It was quiet there, except the banging on the door and asking us to leave.
from feed by M.T. Anderson.
Anderson's use of paradox in this sentence helps to emphasize how the character felt. He thought the room was quiet, besides the loud banging on the door.
My Sentence:
The band sang so loud, I coudn't hear a thing.
Sentence 5
His Sentence:
I won't remember watching you stand by my bed when I can't move, watching you staring down; I won't remember you apologizing for not coming sooner; I won't remember you standing there bored by my beside as I slur words, standing there waiting to feel like you've stayed long enough so that you're a good person and you're allowed to leave.
from feed by M.T. Anderson
The author uses anaphora in this sentence to better convey what the character is trying to say. She repeats the phrase "I won't remember" to show how strong she feels about getting better and not letting go of her life with the boy she loves. The anaphora in this sentence helps the reader to better understand her thoughts.
My Sentence:
You won't forget what happened on that horrible day up in the sky, watching those planes crash into the buildings; you won't forget all the lives that were lost in that tragedy; you won't forget who did this to the people that you loved as you sit alone crying for hours on end as you recollect what happened on September 11, 2001.
I won't remember watching you stand by my bed when I can't move, watching you staring down; I won't remember you apologizing for not coming sooner; I won't remember you standing there bored by my beside as I slur words, standing there waiting to feel like you've stayed long enough so that you're a good person and you're allowed to leave.
from feed by M.T. Anderson
The author uses anaphora in this sentence to better convey what the character is trying to say. She repeats the phrase "I won't remember" to show how strong she feels about getting better and not letting go of her life with the boy she loves. The anaphora in this sentence helps the reader to better understand her thoughts.
My Sentence:
You won't forget what happened on that horrible day up in the sky, watching those planes crash into the buildings; you won't forget all the lives that were lost in that tragedy; you won't forget who did this to the people that you loved as you sit alone crying for hours on end as you recollect what happened on September 11, 2001.
Monday, October 5, 2009
Sentence 4
His Sentence:
It was her.
from feed by M.T. Anderson.
This simple sentence used by the author adds so much emphasis to the paragraph because it shows what the girl means to the main character in this story.
My Sentence:
It was him.
It was her.
from feed by M.T. Anderson.
This simple sentence used by the author adds so much emphasis to the paragraph because it shows what the girl means to the main character in this story.
My Sentence:
It was him.
Sentence 3
His Sentence:
Don't be-don't-it's all going to be good.
from feed by M.T. Anderson
The use of hyphens in this sentence adds emotion to the character by conveying his abrupt stop in the sentence.
My Sentence:
I couldn't-wouldn't-stop thinking about it.
Don't be-don't-it's all going to be good.
from feed by M.T. Anderson
The use of hyphens in this sentence adds emotion to the character by conveying his abrupt stop in the sentence.
My Sentence:
I couldn't-wouldn't-stop thinking about it.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Sentence 2
His Sentence:
It was blue when the sun hit it one way, and purple when the sun hit it another way, and sometimes green and yellow.
from feed by M.T. Anderson.
Anderson's use of polysyndeton in this sentence spaces out the sentence to emphasize detail. The reader has a better understanding of what the character was thinking because of this rhetorical device.
My sentence:
The water was clear when I looked at it from above, and blue when I looked at it from the side, and sometimes purple and green.
It was blue when the sun hit it one way, and purple when the sun hit it another way, and sometimes green and yellow.
from feed by M.T. Anderson.
Anderson's use of polysyndeton in this sentence spaces out the sentence to emphasize detail. The reader has a better understanding of what the character was thinking because of this rhetorical device.
My sentence:
The water was clear when I looked at it from above, and blue when I looked at it from the side, and sometimes purple and green.
Friday, September 25, 2009
Sentence 1
His sentence:
I could lose my ability to walk; I could lose my ability to think.
from feed by M.T. Anderson.
The use of anaphora in this sentence as well as the semicolon add emphasis to the severity of the girl's situation by building up the tension that comes from losing her ability to walk. Then, more importantly, her ability to think.
My sentence:
We should win Conference; we should win State.
I could lose my ability to walk; I could lose my ability to think.
from feed by M.T. Anderson.
The use of anaphora in this sentence as well as the semicolon add emphasis to the severity of the girl's situation by building up the tension that comes from losing her ability to walk. Then, more importantly, her ability to think.
My sentence:
We should win Conference; we should win State.
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